I debated whether I should share what I’m about to share as it’s very personal to me. However, I have decided to share it with you, as many of us have developed a really close relationship, and I consider you to be a friend of mine. You trust me intimately with your health, and many of you have shared your heartaches and personal struggles with me. Now it’s my turn to share mine with you.

The Day My Life Changed

It was 4:00pm on Thursday the 21st of May and I was at work seeing patients. I was due to fly to Vietnam the following day for a friends wedding, as well as a few days of much needed rest. I received a call from my sister, which was unusual, as they know not to call me when I’m working. I didn’t answer it and then the message came through.

“Dad’s had a stroke. Call me urgently!”

My heart dropped! I’m getting emotional as I write this (I’m on a plane right now doing so). I finished with my patient and called my sister immediately. She explained what happened and then I called my Dad’s partner. She was still with Dad at home along with the paramedics.

I rang my husband Hafi and told him what happened, and that I needed to go to Adelaide urgently. I started cancelling the remaining patients who were booked in for later that afternoon, and I was about to finish work when I got a call from the doctor (I’m Dad’s next-of-kin, which I didn’t know but should have assumed given I’m his oldest child).

The doctor said that Dad had a stroke in his left middle cerebral artery (which is one of the major arteries to the brain) and that they needed to perform a thrombectomy immediately to remove the clot. There was a 5% chance of a fatal brain haemorrhage. Even with my medical knowledge, I was trying to process what was happening. I authorised the surgery and thankfully it was successful.

I finished work and reached home at 5:15pm. Within 45 minutes, I had booked a flight, packed my suitcase and showered, and I was on my way to the airport for an 8:15pm flight to Adelaide via Melbourne. Dad was touch and go, and I wasn’t sure if I would make it in time.

The Early Days

I arrived in Adelaide and went straight to the hospital. Dad wasn’t in a good way. He had complete hemiparesis of his right side (paralysis of his right upper and lower limb), and severe aphasia and apraxia (speaking and understanding language).

Thankfully his memory wasn’t affected, and he gave me the biggest hug he could possibly give me. My Dad has always given the best hugs. The type of hugs that squeeze the air out of your lungs.

The doctors told us that there was significant swelling and bleeding on his brain. The swelling increases on days two and three before it starts to subside. If the swelling got worse and crossed the midline of his brain, he could be in trouble.

Then the doctors went through Dad’s Advanced Care Directive with my sister and I. In more simple terms, Dad’s end of life wishes. To say it was confronting would be an understatement. I don’t think anyone can prepare themselves for something like this.

My sister and her kids had flown in from Brisbane that morning, and my Dad’s partner was with us too. We were all together. Dad has always been there for us, and now it was our turn to be there for him.

The Recovery

As I write this, Dad is five weeks post-stroke. He has been moved to another hospital that specialises in stroke rehabilitation. His energy levels have returned. His memory and senses haven’t been affected. He is starting to get some movement through his right leg. And he is trying to speak a lot, but he can’t quite get the words out yet. We do get a few words here and there though.

He will most likely be in hospital for the next few months as he continues his recovery. But Dad is tough and he’ll do everything he can to recover. And we’re all helping him as much as we possibly can.

The Commute

If you’re not aware by now, I have reduced my hours to Thursday’s, Friday’s and Saturday’s, as I’m currently commuting between Singapore and Adelaide every week to help my Dad.

It’s not just to see him, but to help manage his house and his affairs as well. I will continue to update you with any changes to my working days as they happen.

Hold Your Loved Ones Close

The reason for sharing my Dad’s health situation is not to ask for sympathy. It’s to remind you to hold your loved ones close. Life can change in a split second. Mine certainly did. I’m sure some of you have experienced it too at one point or another.

I’m incredibly close to my Dad. He’s my best mate. We have always done everything together. We started going to the football together when I was five years old, and it’s something we’ve done ever since. In a previous email, I mentioned that my Oma was my idol. My Dad is my hero! I have always looked up to him. And he has always been there for me. Always!

He always tells me that he loves me. And I tell him too. And this is my advice to you. Always tell your loved ones that you love them. Always give them a kiss and a hug. Even if you’re angry or upset, never say goodbye or hang up the phone without telling those close to you that you love them. You never know what’s around the corner.

I don’t take my family for granted, but it’s easy to think that these things won’t happen to you. I have friends who have been through it. I’ve shared their pain with them. I’ve hugged them as they’ve cried. But it’s still easy to think it won’t happen to you. Until it does!

Appreciate your family (and your friends). Be grateful that they are in your life. Not everyone is close with their family, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be. But for those people who you are close to, whether that’s partners, children, family or friends, always tell them that you love them and that you’re thinking of them. All it takes is a hug goodbye or quick call or message. It’s so simple, yet so powerful.

You Are All Amazing

I know that other people would say this too, but I really do have the most amazing patients. You have all been so supportive and accommodating throughout this process. You have made a very difficult situation just that little bit easier. I’m so grateful that you are not only a patient of mine, but also a friend. And I know that you are there supporting me every single day.

Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. You have no idea how much it means to my family and I. And I promise to repay the faith you have shown me.

Dad will recover. He’s tough, resilient, and he has so much more life to live. And I’ll stop at nothing to help him get better. I have some incredible colleagues helping me, and we all know how powerful and amazing Applied Kinesiology truly is. And your support is going a long way to making this happen.

Thank you for everything!